Sex and Holiness

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Holy Sex 2

In a practical way, I believe Judaism, the religion I’m most familiar with, defines any sexual activity between a husband and wife as holy because it is taking place within a sanctified relationship. It doesn’t require any special thought or intent or limit to the type of activity. It just is holy by definition. But I think for many people that may take the romance out of the concept of holiness.

I guess when I think about holiness I often think about transcendence, moving beyond yourself and perhaps the other person you are with to reach and connect, in some way, with a higher being, power, G-d.

I suppose that does happen sometimes during sex, but I would argue that it is a rare occurrence, and not especially one that would be useful to try for on a regular basis. That’s a large burden for a sexual relationship to carry, especially if you want to encourage regular, ongoing sex. So perhaps holy sex is something we can strive for or even something you just remain open to… and then if you’re lucky sometimes your sex life can become an entry way into something deeper and more profound.

In the end this is something I struggle with. What is “holy sex?”  I’m not really sure and I’d love readers thoughts on this.

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  • Guest

    This makes me think about Shabbat – another example where holiness is an important element but not the only one. Shabbat is also about rest, family and community – as well as gathering yourself after one week in preparation for the next. It’s the same
    with sex. It’s good to have all the elements available in your sexual catalogue but every time is different (or it should be) so that on some occasions we have more of one element while at other times, more of another. Frankly, I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if every time my husband and I had sex the over-riding energy was one of holiness. It’s gotta be fun and naughty at least some of the times, no?